Marriage is not by force. Just as you can’t justify stealing money in order to buy an iPhone X because you admire it so much, you can’t also go and beg Apple to give you a free iPhone X just because you love their products.
We are not all the same, we are created unique and that is what makes us beautiful. It will be a big error to live your life on impressions, trying to sew your clothes based on someone else’s size; you should rather cut your coat according to your size.
Whenever you advise ladies not to marry men or pay for their bride price, some people get hurt and instead of learning the sense out of that statement, they resort to attacks and insults.
Nobody is forcing you into marriage, nobody is putting pressure on you to have an expensive wedding. As a man, what you need is a friend who is a helper and who believes in you and your vision. Someone who is willing to leave their house, family and friends to follow you because you have shown them you are worth that.
If the family of the woman you want to marry says X amount of money or Y amount of goods is what it takes to show you care for their daughter and can take good care of her and you can afford it, then go ahead and do so, because you know the value of the woman you are bringing to your team. If you can’t afford it, leave in peace. After all, God didn’t create only one particular person for you, so that if you don’t marry her, your life will never be complete.
Again, if the woman says she wants a church wedding, and that is what it takes to honour her or make her happy and you can’t afford it, then let her be. What it means is, she is not the right partner for you. If you find someone who, like you, don’t want a church wedding but is so happy with you, then it means you just found your missing rib.
It is, therefore, wrong for you to force a woman to marry you because you feel you need them. It is also wrong for you to allow her or force her to pay the bride price because the marriage is about you both. She is happy with her parents, you want her and every woman has their price.
Don’t misquote bible verses to mislead yourself that God is not interested in bride price or wedding. One of the very things which demonstrate you can take care of a woman is paying for the bride price. In case you don’t know, the bible says “But if any do not care for their own, and especially for those of their own house, they have denied the faith and are worse than unbelievers” – 1 Timothy 5:8 (MEV).
God loves us, He didn’t love us with just words or his mouth, He also paid a price for us. The Church is the bride of Christ and He paid for the price with His very life. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life” – John 3:16 (MEV). God just didn’t save us, he also cared for us. To love is to care for the one you love. Bride price is just a token of care.
Now guys, about the woman you claim to love, what price are you prepared to pay for her? You can’t even pay for the bride price but you believe you love her? You are a complete joke. If women will know their value and insist on what they deserve, I believe many boys will stay longer with their mothers. Ladies, your marriage is as a result of the man you settle for.
You can’t settle for someone who doesn’t love you, someone who cannot care for you. Guys, even if the one you love is for sale, and the only way to get them is to pay for their bride price, won’t you be glad to do that? If that is the only way to have them with you. Doing that defines your love. You don’t pay because of the family, but because of her.
In conclusion, ladies, this is the language of the man who truly loves you: “Ask me for as great a bride-price and gift as you will, and I will give whatever you say to me. Only give me the young woman to be my wife” – Genesis 34:12 (ESV).
Source: Frank Edem Adofoli